For years I wrestled with issues of fear, doubt and insecurity. I worried and doubted myself about everything– from raising children to being a responsible citizen of the world to having enough money. Although I was an active member of a church, I had no relationship with the God of my upbringing. At the same time, I struggled with my eating. I say “eating” rather than weight because the numbers on my bathroom scale were not always unpleasant. I was always going on the “diet to end all diets”, the one that would get me down to an ideal size

After years of being trapped in a pattern of relapse, I realized that I had to learn how to live life on life’s terms if I was going to stay abstinent. I had heard that numerous times in my years in FA, but this time what that really meant got through to me. It meant that no matter what feeling was overwhelming me, it was not a reason to put anything in my mouth. Getting abstinent was hard. I was not “struck” abstinent with the cravings lifted and a pink cloud, like I had heard of other people’s experience. Instead, I felt