The first time I heard about FA was at a meeting I was attending as a member of a Twelve-Step group for alcoholics. At these meetings, I had occasionally shared about my eating disorder. In school I was always the heaviest girl in my class. I had been a practicing bulimic since adolescence when I started this behavior to help me lose weight. I was desperately trying to get rid of food for good. 

At first I felt like the purging gave me freedom to eat whatever I wanted and to get rid of the calories. It turned into a prison and a never-ending cycle of hating myself.  

Later in life when I discovered alcohol, I found another substance to feed my addiction.

For years I was actively practicing both addictions. Usually if the drinking was heavier, I sometimes got a slight handle on the bulimia. But then something stressful would happen, and I would pick up the food again.  

At the last stages of my drinking, nearly eight-and-a-half years ago, for months I was getting drunk and bingeing and purging each night. I was lucky to still hold down a job. The only reason I was able to work was probably because when I purged, most of the alcohol came up with the food. This allowed me to still get up and go to work the next day.

In the years when I’d been sober, there were short periods when I wasn’t in the food, but these never lasted more than a few months, and it certainly wasn’t real recovery from my food addiction. I was working with an E.D. (eating disorder) counselor and was “white knuckling” it day after day.

Thank God I listened at a Twelve-Step meeting one night, which motivated me to go to my first FA meeting. I was successful with the tools of the program from the start, because I’d heard a lot of the same things in my other Twelve-Step program for years.

I have been abstinent for 11 months and it feels great. I’ve reached my maintenance weight, there have been no episodes of my bulimia, and I’m starting to expand my spiritual life.

I need to work all the tools each day. Now when I get stressed at work, I pause for a few minutes and make an outreach call. The calls always help me to calm down and realize that what I’m feeling is completely normal. That’s something I haven’t always had in my life. I’d become accustomed to always feeling different. In FA I’m just one among many food addicts, which is very comforting to me. I look forward to continued growth in this program and I’m so happy others were willing to share it with me.