Breaking the Cycle

A STORY OF RECOVERY FROM FOOD ADDICTION

Breaking the Cycle

Recovery

As a food addict, taking the next right action is not a natural response for me. In fact, taking action […]

As a food addict, taking the next right action is not a natural response for me. In fact, taking action of any sort can be a challenge, and sometimes making a transition from one thing to the next can seem like it requires tremendous effort.

Tonight I came home from work, and after eating my committed, weighed, and measured dinner, I have been sitting in my favorite comfy chair to watch a TV show that I like. The show has ended. I know the next right action is to get out of the comfy chair and take care of some necessary personal business: balancing my checkbook and writing out my monthly budget. I know this is the next right action, but frankly…“I don’t wanna!”

The same thing used to happen to me when I ate addictively. I would start eating a particular food, and I wouldn’t want to stop. This is why I purchased the same few binge foods over and over and in such large quantities; I wanted the eating experience to last forever. One day at a time, I haven’t had to eat that way. But I am an addict who gets stuck on “repeat,” and my first thought is to want to do certain things over and over…and to avoid some things completely.

As of today, I am down 40 pounds from my top weight and have been free from that old, destructive eating cycle for over two years. It is a blessing that today I eat weighed and measured food three times a day and that each meal consists of a designated quantity of food. Once the meal is over, I move on with my day. That felt like a real challenge in the beginning, but today I am so thankful that each meal ends. I enjoy my abstinent meals more than I ever enjoyed the endless binges.

Tonight I know that this same principal applies. When I get to the end of an activity, it is time to move on. I may get the “I don’t wannas,” but today I have tools that will help me get out of that immature mindset. I know I can’t go wrong by working my FA program.

So, right now, I am choosing to help myself transition by using the tool of writing (this article). Now I am ready to move on to the next task. However, today I know there is beauty, freedom, and value in doing my life, like my food, in a weighed and measured way.

That being said, I’m going to keep on taking the next right action. Out of the chair— checkbook, here I come!

More Stories

Finding the Solution

For years, I wrestled with fear, doubt, and insecurity. I worried about everything, from raising children and being a responsible citizen of the world, to having enough money. Although I was an active member of a religious community, I had no relationship with the God of my upbringing. At the same time, I struggled with my eating. I say eating rather than weight because my weight fluctuated so much. The numbers on my bathroom scale were not always a problem, but I habitually went on the “diet to end all diets,” which I told myself would get me down to

Shock Absorption

I first came to FA weighing 215 pounds. I was a complete mess. For over six years, I had one foot in FA and one foot in the food. I would think: Am I really a food addict? Do I really need to go to these lengths? Is FA really the solution to my food problem? I saw myself as different from all the other food addicts in the rooms, which exempted me from having to do what they did. No one had ever binged on as much food as I had, no one felt a food craving as intensely

Working A Strong Program

I found Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) in Vancouver when I was 30 years old. I was 5’ 6” and weighed 189 pounds (86 kilos). I lost 60 pounds (27 kilos) and have consistently stayed the same weight for the last three years. I was on the frontier [term previously used to describe an area far away from an established in-person FA fellowship] from the start but was lucky enough to have two small meetings at the time. When I came into recovery, I was desperate. I had again ended up lying on my bed in the fetal position after a binge. The negative