God is Driving the Bus

A STORY OF RECOVERY FROM FOOD ADDICTION

God is Driving the Bus

I had 25 minutes to get to my doctor’s appointment across town. I decided the bus was faster than taking […]

I had 25 minutes to get to my doctor’s appointment across town. I decided the bus was faster than taking the subway. My lighter body took me to the bus stop quickly. Having lost 96 pounds, running felt so good that I kept running.

Well, I got to the bus stop, but the bus was late. I was disappointed. I waited. When the driver finally arrived, he announced that he wanted to take a five-minute break. I thought, “A break! I have to be somewhere!” So I took off running to the subway.

As pedestrians started to blur and sirens screamed past, a small thought whispered: Is this abstinent behavior? Am I getting a high from all of my hurrying?

I got off the subway and ran four blocks uphill. Sweaty and out of breath, I arrived at the building just as the bus rolled by.

Easy does it never was so clear. A little bit of rest and patience would have achieved the same results. In my recovery, my higher power tells me to rest and have patience. Sometimes I want to speed up my recovery, but I have learned that my way is difficult and my higher power’s way is easy. God is driving my recovery bus and I simply need to get on and ride.

More Stories

Homecomings

Right now I am using my program to stop obsessing about skinny jeans. And for all you newcomers, yep, working the FA program makes a person skinny. But then what do I do with a mind that wants to obsess on getting more and more and more pairs of skinny jeans? It is just like with the food; my brain lies and says that if I get xyz then I will feel peaceful and satisfied. Not true! God brings peace and in God’s time. So, I think writing for the connection will probably get me closer to God than giving

Read More »

Mode Swing

I met someone at a workshop and asked her how she was losing weight. She invited me to meet her at an FA meeting in Encino, CA. At the meeting, I didn’t hear anything except that I would have to give up flour and sugar and weigh and measure my food. I said, “That’s not for me,” and when the meeting ended, I left.  During that week, I thought about my beloved foods and consumed them in mass quantities. Just the thought of giving them up increased my craving and desire for them. At the end of that week, I

Read More »

Another Break

 The break started with a memory of a place and a food connected to a moment saturated in grief for my spouse, who had passed seven years earlier. It was our favorite haunt. I had driven passed this food place many times and had learned to say, “This is not my food.” However, late at night three months ago, unhappy with my lonely life, I wished to connect again with my past. I thought that I deserved this one memory, and I indulged in a binge. Afterwards, I was filled with the self-loathing realization of what those mouthfuls would cost

Read More »

GET NEW STORIES EVERY MONTH

Get Connection magazine sent to your inbox or mailbox.

Scroll to Top