Before joining FA I would have told you I was not an angry person, but since coming into the program I have realized just how angry I used to be.

Growing up, I always felt cheated out of the good things that life had to offer. I wanted what everyone else seemed to have: loving parents, a big house, and money to buy the things I wanted. I was always looking for that good life, and I always seemed to end up with the short end of the stick. I became angry with people, places, things, and situations. I got into alcohol and drugs and lost custody of my two younger children, which fueled my anger even more. Then I lost my 16-year-old son to suicide, which pushed me over the edge.

When I came into FA three years ago, I weighed 294 pounds and my anger was at an all-time high. I didn’t want to be a food addict, and I couldn’t identify with the people who shared in front of the room. Their happiness made me angrier because I didn’t know how to get what they had.

I kept showing up. I went to extra meetings, made phone calls and used the tools to the best of my ability. But I still wasn’t getting any happier. Then, on one phone call, a fellow told me, “Don’t listen to the stories, listen for the pain. That way, you’ll be able to identify.” So I started listening, really listening, at first to my fellows, and then to my Higher Power, which I call God.

I was not a spiritual person when I walked into FA, but by slowly working the spiritual tools of this program, day after day, my heart began to soften. I opened up to people and began to trust them more. I started to ask my fellows for advice on how to handle my anger. I listened to what they said, took suggestions, and my anger started to disappear.

Today, I am less angry. Life’s problems can still throw me into a tailspin, but I no longer let them overwhelm me. I reach out to God and to my fellows for the strength and guidance to get through each situation, which helps me to overcome my problems and keep the anger out of my heart.

I have gone through a death of an FA member, a serious car accident, and losing my position at work, and I have been able to stay abstinent throughout it all. I am not cured of my anger, but I no longer stay angry for days on end. When a problem arises, I reach out and call someone and ask them how their day is going, which helps me get out of my own head.

God has worked so many miracles in my life. Because of FA, I am a happier person, and my heart now has more love than anger in it.