I went to the California Department of Motor Vehicles to renew my driver’s license. I was especially excited, because after a year of abstinence in FA and a 111 pound weight loss, I wanted to use my new weight on my license. My old license read 230 pounds, which was a total lie. I passed 230 pounds in high school on the way to my high of 300 pounds. I thought if a cop pulled me over, I could pass for 230. I was always in denial about how much I actually weighed.

Well today was different. I filled out the form and wrote the exact weight I saw on the scale: 165.0. I emphasized the point zero and handed it to the clerk. She examined the form and frowned, “Are you sure this is how much you weigh?” “Yes,” I say proudly, “one six five point zero.” I thought she was teasing me because of the decimal point. (In FA we are all about precision after all.)

The clerk frowned some more and said, “Are you positive? You don’t look like you are 165 pounds. You look smaller.” I laughed out loud. I never imagined having to defend my true weight at the DMV. A former fat girl now looks too skinny for her weight.

I wonder if non-food addicts lie about their weight too. Perhaps this clerk has never seen an honest form! FA has given me a new appreciation for what it means to be open, honest, and willing.