Weddings and funerals. I didn’t show up for either one when I was in the food. Weddings were uncomfortable because I would spend the whole time comparing myself to others. Funerals were terrible because I could never figure out what to say to sad people. I failed to realize I wasn’t the most important person at either type of event!
After 10 years of recovery, I am happy to say I’ve learned a little bit about showing up. This summer, my 89 year-old mother suffered from congestive heart failure. After several trips to the emergency room, the doctor informed the family that it was time to call in Hospice. Each of my sisters had several days of caring for Mom. My turn came when my mom was nearing the end. I didn’t have any experience caring for someone so ill. I wondered if I would be able to provide tender, loving care in the midst of such strong emotions. Asking God and others for help showed me the next right thing to do in every situation. I was able to practice self-care throughout the week by attending meetings and calling fellows. I always made sure my food was prepared ahead of time. I took extra quiet time when I could. When my mom passed, I knew I had done the best I could. I was so grateful that I’d had those days with her.
Six days later, my son was getting married. I spent those six days taking extra special care of myself. Service, gratitude, phone calls, quiet time and meetings helped me to switch gears for this special event. I am happy to say the wedding came off without a hitch. It was wonderful to be surrounded by family and friends. I felt radiant walking down the aisle as mother of the groom. That day there was nothing but joy!
Looking back on that emotional time, I am feeling so grateful for recovery. Because my food was in it’s proper place, I was able to feel the appropriate feelings at the appropriate times. I showed up for the important people in my life, and all because I put my food on the scale!