The day started out pleasantly – two FA couples with our lunches in tow traveling 100 miles for an adventure. We were in one car going to a museum, and later out to dinner on the way back home. As we had finished lunch and our art viewing, my partner’s phone rang. It was her father’s doctor stating that instead of tomorrow, she needed to come and be with him NOW. The other couple made arrangements to get back home by cab and train. We had been in program for 10 months and started out not knowing what would happen next. Fortunately, each of us called our sponsors.
We were advised where to stop and get a scale and what restaurant we could go to get an abstinent meal on the way. Upon arrival, my partner went directly to her father’s hospital bed. My tasks were to find us a place to stay and to purchase food and toiletries. When these tasks were completed, I called my partner and was advised that her father was not just sick, he was dying. The next morning I went to the hospital and had some trouble getting in, but got there just as he passed away.
We went back to the hotel and ate the abstinent breakfast I had prepared. Then the reality of what had happened set in and my partner and I both started to cry. We were trying to figure out our next steps when my cell phone rang. It was my brother’s partner advising me that my brother was in a hospital about 90 miles away in the opposite direction, semi-conscious, unable to speak, and doctors weren’t sure what was wrong. In a panic I thought I should rush to his side, but when I called my sponsor, she calmly asked me, “Is there someone with him? If so, that person can keep you advised of his condition while you are working on the final arrangements for your partner’s father”. I followed the advice.
After an abstinent lunch, I went to the car to power up my cell phone. Not expecting to be away from home overnight, we had not brought an indoor charger. When the phone came back on, I realized that there was a message. My mother was in a facility for Alzheimer’s disease; the message was from her facility. When I listened to it, I discovered that there was a medical crisis, and they were trying to reach my brother or me. I cried out “God, I don’t know how much more of this I can handle!” However, I contacted the staff and determined that the issue was serious but not urgent and could wait to the next day.
On the way home that afternoon, we stopped for dinner at the home of my partner’s sponsor and went to my partner’s regular FA meeting. I was able to speak to my brother that night knowing that he was on the mend. Through sponsors’ guidance, I learned how to adjust my actions in challenging situations putting program first, to carry an emergency pack in my car with scale, toiletries, and underwear, and finally, the value of calling your sponsor when you don’t know what to do next.