Then and Now

A STORY OF RECOVERY FROM FOOD ADDICTION

Then and Now

Recovery

A few years before coming into FA, I had the honor of being the maid of honor to my sweet […]

A few years before coming into FA, I had the honor of being the maid of honor to my sweet younger cousin. My dress fit tightly and was at risk of not zipping. The real “food addict” performance came during the reception. I proceeded to drink heavily and became intoxicated, walking around the reception barefoot with a bottle in each hand. I made inappropriate advances on other guests. Finally, lo and behold, the wedding dessert was served. Bingo! My eyeballs popped out of my head. As everyone was having a good time on the dance floor, I grabbed a friend’s hand and ran over to all the unattended servings at every table. I ate many portions of other people’s dessert from the tables. Eventually, a relative had to come and get me and tell me to stop. I ended up throwing up from all the sugar and alcohol I consumed.

Flash forward to recovery. I am in Chicago with my mom for another cousin’s wedding. This time I’ve been in FA for seven and a half years and abstinent for five years. Again, I am dancing at the reception. Only this time I am in a size 2 dress that fits me appropriately, and I’m enjoying being in right-sized body. The band is singing Black Eyed Peas’ “Tonight’s Gonna Be a Good Night” and I am joyfully jumping up and down with my mom, who had just beat cancer earlier in the year. I turn around and, lo and behold, all the wedding dessert had been served – a sea of tables of unsupervised sugar and no one to eat it. I had to stop for a moment to reflect on how far I’d come. I grabbed my beautiful mother’s hand and said “Mama, do you remember me at the other cousin’s wedding?” She nodded. “I’m not eating everyone’s food, I’m not drunk, I’m not making out inappropriately with anyone. This is the miracle of why I do what I do.” We both smiled and resumed jumping up and down.

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