“There is the likelihood that you have multiple myeloma (cancer of the bone marrow), based on your test results,” said my doctor. Not exactly the words one wants to hear after having a minor test for a completely unrelated problem. He repeated this statement a couple of times to make sure I understood the potential severity of the situation. I guess my lack of a panicked response made him think I had not heard or understood him. My reaction, or lack thereof, was not a conscious effort; it just seemed “normal” to me. I admit that I did not react in the way I would have before joining FA a little over three years ago. Before Program, my reaction to this news would have been driven by self-centeredness and self-pity. I would have been blaming my higher power for doing this to me, and I would have been face down in the food. But even with this news, I did not eat!
Of course my wife (also an FA member) and I were concerned. After all, I had only visited the doctor for a minor problem related to my feet. We were not expecting such a result and it caught us completely by surprise. Together we prayed for guidance and for the serenity that we have been given as a gift of this program, and I went off for more testing. We decided not to tell our children, family, or friends until we had more information. We continued to attend our meetings, work on our tools, and pray. And…we did not eat! This serenity was a gift freely given by God. We realized that the situation was something we could not change; we could only change how we reacted to it. We did not have to eat over it.
After a week or so, we received news that the additional tests indicated that the initial diagnosis was apparently incorrect, and that I did not have any additional indicators of the disease. More tests have since confirmed that I do not have multiple myeloma. In the past this might well have been the cause for a real blowout celebration, with excessive amounts of food and drink. This time we did not have to eat to celebrate.
Two miracles were given us through this experience: first, the miracle of my not having cancer, and second, the miracle that we were able to receive the news and conduct our lives calmly and serenely, without going over to the dark side with negative thinking, self pity, and resentments. And, we did not have to eat. The promises of the program have come true for us, and we have learned to recognize, accept, and give thanks for them.