As far back as I can remember, I have always gotten a “high” from eating sugar or flour products and quantities of food. I felt a lot of shame around food. I stole and hid food and often lied about how much I had eaten. I matured physically at an early age and was bigger than my peers.

I always had a feeling of being different and never felt comfortable in my own skin. When I entered high school, my peers caught up to me in physical maturity, but I was still bigger. I realized I was fat and could not control the way I ate. I tried to diet but could not do it. The little hope I had vanished.

When I was 18, I was my heaviest weight and more depressed than ever. I was willing to do anything to be in a thin body and be happy. A friend of mine told me of a Twelve-Step program for people who had problems with food. I had heard of how the Twelve Steps worked for alcoholics. I felt I was an alcoholic with food, so I attended a meeting.

For the first time in my life, I heard people telling my story. I had hope that there was a way of living that could work for me, so I stuck around. That was three years ago. I have been 50 pounds lighter for more than two and a half years and no longer cry when I look in the mirror. Food doesn’t light up for me in the way it once did. I have learned that food addiction is a disease that is mental as well as physical.

Diets did not meet my needs as a food addict, nor did they relieve me of the mental obsession I had with food. I am no longer depressed, and I am learning how to live a good life. I am very grateful for the willingness that I had three years ago to try the FA program for just one day.