The Saturday morning meeting was well attended as usual and a fellow member qualified who had just reached her 90 days. Because of a break, I was beginning again. Hearing the story of a new person and how they achieved abstinence often opens my eyes to our common problem. I found her share very encouraging.
Later that evening old familiar thoughts began to surface: “You’re all alone. Everyone else has someone in his or her life. There isn’t anyone to go out with. Everyone else has a life that is full and fun except you.” With those thoughts came the sad feelings that arise when I’m feeling lonely, so I went to bed.
When I woke up on Sunday morning the gloom had returned. After meditating for 30 minutes, I ate breakfast and looked ahead to the day. It was only an hour after breakfast when I thought, “I’m hungry, I want to eat.” I knew eating wasn’t the answer, but by leaving the house, shopping and walking my dog I was able to get through the morning without eating.
Lunch came, I ate, cleaned up and looked at the clock—12:30pm, the cravings increased and I knew I needed help so I began making phone calls. I left several messages with the plea “Please call me back, I’m feeling really unhappy and I want to eat…” In about 45 minutes, I received a call back from the woman who had qualified the previous day. She shared with me how she always worried about what to say if someone needed help. She had listened to my message and thought, “OMG someone needs me, what do I do?” I said that she had done the exact right thing by calling me back.
Her help was immediate and just what was needed. In an outreach call she had made earlier, someone told her to either get busy or get quiet. As soon as she said that, I knew that getting busy was my solution. After the call, I turned on some music, pulled out some cleaning supplies and got scrubbing. The music lifted my spirits; the work was productive and most importantly gave me something to think about besides food. I no longer wanted to eat.
I still carry that with me today, ‘either get busy or get quiet’ as a helpful mantra when food thoughts crowd into my mind. A gift from a fellow member who qualified for the first time helped me stay abstinent, and I got to help her get over her fear of that first SOS phone call too!