A fellow recently told me that when she gets in the car, she prays, “God, please help me drive safely and sanely.” When I think about how I drove when I was eating addictively and how I drive now that I am abstinent, I recognize that God has restored me to sanity.
The insanity of the way I ate spread into all areas of my life. I would buy my binge foods at the grocery store, and as soon as I got in the car, I would start stuffing my face. I sat in the car in the supermarket parking lot devouring my groceries, hoping no one was watching. I didn’t always stay parked, though. Once, I didn’t want to stay in the parking lot where someone might see me, but I could not wait to get home to eat, so I put the sugar and flour products in the passenger seat and put the car in motion. I was not “drinking and driving,” I was “eating and driving.” I hit a fence, and my car ended up in the shop.
In abstinence, my driving is much saner. This past winter an FA member in my local fellowship lost a family member, and my sponsor suggested I do whatever I could to attend the memorial services. It was a long drive with a lot of ice and snow on the roads, but I showed up.
On the way home, I was driving down the highway at 70 miles an hour and my car hit a massive pothole. I got a flat tire and pulled over on the slim shoulder. I called roadside assistance and was told I might have to wait up to two hours, and it was already getting late. I had my blinkers on, but I was afraid because I knew that sitting on the side of the road was not safe. I asked my higher power for help, and I began making calls to other FA members. Just then, a police officer pulled over and said he would sit parked behind me as I waited. Not long after, roadside assistance arrived to change my tire. I had the spare tire on the car, and I was on my way. God took care of me that night.
The next morning, I was exhausted because I had gone to bed so late. I was concerned it would be difficult to get through the day, but my sponsor encouraged me to sleep just another half hour and go into work a little late. “You were being of service yesterday, so God is entirely behind you.” She was right: I made it through the day, abstinently.
Since joining the program, I have been able to drive “safely and sanely.”