I had been in FA for about six weeks when I went to a café with a neighbor in my tiny, quaint home town. It was warm and cozy as we stood in line waiting to order, and I looked in the curved glass case at the food items I used to buy. I noticed a particular baked item that someone had decorated in a unique and beautiful way. Both my food addict brain and my artist’s heart were entranced.
I mentioned it to my friend. “Isn’t that the prettiest, most beautiful item like that you’ve EVER seen?”
“Oh, yes,” she said.
We ordered our beverages and went out into the sweet air and fall sunshine to sit on the patio. I began telling her about the new program I was in. “You know, I think I might be a food addict,” I said.
“Oh, no! I don’t think you are a food addict,” she replied.
Just then a lady walked by with the item I’d been ogling in the glass case. I jerked my head around and said, “Oh, look! Someone got that!”
“I never gave it another thought,” she said, looking at me blankly.
“Well, I haven’t thought of anything else since I saw it!”
Her honest, blank face shocked me. That’s when I knew. All the people, all those years, shoving away foods that I never could have left on the table, saying things like, “I can’t eat another bite.” They were not lying! I had always known with ferocious certainty they weren’t telling the truth. How could they pass up those food items and not finish them?
Suddenly the realization of the massive amounts of time I’d spent mentally desiring, fighting with, crying over, and consuming food hit me. I was different. I was obsessed with food and I was a food addict. My friend actually was being honest and was not obsessed with the food!
I was overwhelmed to realize there really are people who are not consumed with eating. There are people who can take only a bite, who can leave sweets on their desk and never even think of them. I am one of those whose only thought after taking that bite is, “How can I get more?”
Since that day, I have had no doubt that I am a food addict. I’m beyond grateful to have found FA, a Higher Power, a life of peaceful serenity, and the pure joy of living. I weighed 239 pounds when I began and now my weight stays around 134 pounds. At the age of 68, I feel relief and gratitude to be in a right sized body – – and life just gets better every day.