An Angel at the Door

A STORY OF RECOVERY FROM FOOD ADDICTION

An Angel at the Door

One hot day five years ago I was “hiding out in my house” wearing my biggest pair of drawstring sweat […]

One hot day five years ago I was “hiding out in my house” wearing my biggest pair of drawstring sweat pants – that were starting to get tight – when I heard a knock at my front door. It was our Pest Exterminator dropping off our invoice following treating the exterior of our house. I cracked the door open slightly and peeked out with just one eyeball visible. I was at my most miserable top weight that had swung me into full blown isolation mode.

The Exterminator asked me what was wrong. Right when he said that I noticed that standing in front of me was a much smaller version of the exterminator I had come to know and see every month over the past few years. He was this tiny person in a much too large work uniform. The collar of his shirt was so big that his little neck was swimming in it. His work had not given him a smaller uniform since he lost some weight.

He could tell I was hiding behind the door. I told him I was feeling so terrible and fat and hopeless. I knew he had done FA in the past and that he was back in the program.

He started to tell me all about his weight loss journey; he showed me his “before” pictures of him as a much larger man, and gave me leaflet titled “Are you having trouble controlling how you eat”? He told me that I should come to the upcoming meeting since he is going to be qualifying there (sharing his personal story of what it was like before and what it is like now.)

I told him that right before he knocked on the door, I had just called my mom to share my despair and frustration, saying I was going back to a commercial weight loss program. I had done one in the past and lost weight but I could never maintain it. My mom said, “That food is going to kill you”. I knew she was 100% right which is why I was feeling so terribly hopeless when I barely cracked open my front door that day.

The Exterminator told me how FA is a program of recovery and support for people who have a problem with food, who want to not only lose the weight but keep slim too. He told me that there are many people in the FA Program who lost all their weight and have continued to keep it off. This all sounded so good to me since I knew that if I went back to dieting I would not be able to control my eating behaviors especially around the “treats” they allow you; I would always order more of them (for the kids of course, wink-wink) and I would eat them up so quickly without being able to stop.

So, I went to a meeting and I got to hear his story of recovery as well as many other food addicts’ and I could relate to all of them. I knew I was in the right place. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I am a food addict. I finally felt a glimmer of hope: there was a way for me to get my uncontrollable eating habits under control and finally be able to get to and stay at a healthy weight.

My Exterminator became my sponsor that night, I got my food plan and I started working toward recovery the very next day. I talked to him every morning at the same time, told him what I was going to eat for the day and how much of it I was going to eat. I lost 50 pounds (nearly 23kg) in 4 months!

I was able to become free from all flour and sugar right away by doing exactly what my sponsor told me. Four years later I am still in the FA Program doing exactly what I need to do – one day at a time. I am living in my most fit body ever and I don’t have to hide out in my house anymore. Today I love my body and my size and the way I get to eat. I don’t miss the food that made me so miserable. I no longer have to think about going on a diet because now I maintain my right size (within a pound or two) every day, every month, and every year. It feels like a miracle.

I am so grateful I opened my front door 4 years ago and my exterminator was standing there in his newly smaller body and that he told me about the hope I would find in FA. I see it like I was sent an angel on my porch that day. Now I have a solution to maintain a healthy lifestyle and stay in this incredible new body I get to live in every day. What a Gift.

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