Learning the Hard Way

A STORY OF RECOVERY FROM FOOD ADDICTION

Learning the Hard Way

Recovery

struggling

At my first meeting, I couldn’t relate to the term food addict; addicts poured drugs into their bodies with needles. […]

At my first meeting, I couldn’t relate to the term food addict; addicts poured drugs into their bodies with needles. And, I certainly couldn’t relate to the statement that we had an allergy to sugar and flour; I had no allergies.

The hook for me was when I heard the phrase “and our lives had become unmanageable.” That was me inside. Outwardly, I appeared to be a successful professional woman who had my life under control.

Even though my original intention, those nine years ago, was to just dabble in the idea of FA meetings, I was blessed with the gift of desperation. I got a sponsor that first night and was abstinent for almost four years.

Then I had a break—with a binge of dairy products. But I was sure that I could resume my prior life of abstinence. I was terribly wrong. I experienced over three years of suffering in the struggle to regain my abstinence. I would have two days here and two months there, but I did not get 90 days in all that time.

What was amazing for me, as I look back over that sad time in my life, is that I never left Program. I continued to go to my meetings and to be sponsored. Because of that, I grew in many ways, but not in my ability to conquer the uncontrollable and virtually endless night binges.

Nineteen months ago, I was finally able to see what God had been showing me over and over again—that no matter what, I could not have just one of anything. For me, starting means not stopping. With the help of God and this amazing program, I was finally able to truly accept that I am a food addict and what that means for my life.

I then went to great lengths to get a new sponsor and, with her guidance, entered an AWOL. We have just completed the Twelfth Step. Even though this is the third AWOL that I’ve completed, (I finished the other two in my first four years), I experienced this one in a whole new way because of the level of acceptance and surrender that I now understand and live each day.

I’ve lost 65 pounds in Program, and my sponsor continues to expand and deepen my knowledge of our mutual addiction. I’m inspired daily by my sponsees. My relationship with my husband is better than ever.

When I get on my knees, my shoulders go down, I take a deep breath, and I thank God from deep in the core of me that I have found FA and that I can experience life with a new freedom and a new happiness.

More Stories

Out of the Mouths of Babes….

When my first child was around two and a half, I remember driving on the highway with him strapped into the child seat in the rear. I was having road rage at a passing driver, when all of a sudden I heard Josh say, “Mommy, you need to say the “renity prayer.” A little while later I was home in the kitchen arguing with my husband. I must have been really yelling at him, when Josh said, “Mommy, you ought to call your “ponsor.” He is now 21 years old, with almost two solid years of FA abstinence and a

Back to Basics

90 days. 3 months. 13 weeks. 129600 minutes. 270 meals. 39 meetings. The last 90 days have been a whirlwind. You see, this isn’t my first encounter with the rooms of FA. A friend introduced me over two years ago and I instantly fell in love. I had found what I didn’t know I was looking for. I loved the idea of the support and accountability. I saw members of my fellowship with a peace about their lives. I saw before-pictures that were similar to mine. Most of all, I heard my story. I had thought I was the only

No Matter What Don’t Eat

The slogan, “Don’t eat no matter what, no matter what don’t eat,” made no sense to me when I first joined Program. I just couldn’t wrap my brain around this concept. After all, I had to eat my meals, right? So what exactly did they mean by this slogan? After pondering that thought, I realized that people in FA meant not to eat food that wasn’t committed that day if emotions or boredom sent me looking to see what might be in my fridge or cupboards. Oh, that’s what they mean! But, isn’t that what I’ve never been able to