Living on the frontier is challenging enough, so when my sponsor strongly suggested that I work the tool of the telephone three times a day, I thought she had lost her mind. I live on the frontier, how can I be expected to do this? When she suggested I set aside three times each day to dial for 15 minutes, and either reach a fellow or leave messages, I started to question whether this was the recovery I wanted. It really seemed irrational; simply too much to ask. Then she shared a list of names and phone numbers consisting of many long-term members who had helped in her recovery, and said I would benefit from talking to them. I just knew my days in FA were numbered!

For each of her telephone call suggestions, I had at least two excuses why I couldn’t complete this task. We were both persistent. I explained that it was too difficult for me to get more technologically and geographically proficient. Did she really expect me to get a Skype number, learn to use FaceTime and download WhatsApp? If that wasn’t enough, I would also need to spend time understanding time zones and remembering not to call around fellow’s meal times, etc. No matter how many excuses I offered up, she pressed on. She reminded me of how much time and effort I had put into my addiction. “Walk through your fear. Trust that it will be worth it.” I began to acquiesce, thinking to myself all right already! I decided to make a call even though my motivation was not for recovery. I wanted her to stop talking about calls and maybe I could even prove to her that the calls were not helpful or necessary.

Regardless of my fear and hesitation, I made my first call to someone who had over 30 years of abstinence. Her warmth and honesty started to melt my fears and doubts. I mustered up the courage and asked my first question. “When will I be able to add food back?” and then followed that question with “Will I ever have sugar or flour products in my life; ever?”  The old timer laughed and gave me sound advice that I truly believe has helped me to stay abstinent. Regarding the food she said, “It is my choice. I can eat whatever I want. I choose not to eat flour and sugar just for today. Tomorrow has not happened and yesterday is long gone. Today I make choices.”  

I felt comforted by that answer, so I brought up my phone call dilemma. She said my recovery would be better served if I trusted the process and did what my sponsor suggested. She shared that during her early days of recovery, she was in a fog and was very emotional. When her numbness disappeared she was taken aback by the intense feelings of frustration, irritation, anger and fear she felt. Having others to talk to about those emotions had helped her learn to deal with them without turning to food.  She assured me it did get better and she used the FA tools every day to make healthy and clear decisions with her newfound Higher Power.

Almost one year later, I choose to eat abstinently and I embrace the calls. Each call is medicine to me. I now look forward to connecting with my new-found network of friends. Meeting them in person at a convention or when we are in each other’s area is a huge bonus. FA telephone calls bridge the gap! Thank you, FA, and to everyone that has picked up my calls or reached out to me.