I have been underweight for most of my adult life, but became overweight during the past four years. As a food addict, I do nothing in moderation, so I went from underweight to morbid obesity in about a year and a half. I came into program seven months ago at 211 pounds and now am at my goal weight, 72 pounds lighter than when I started.

Last weekend I had the opportunity to travel to Boston for a “Reachout” weekend in Cape Cod, where FA members from the Boston area went to Cape Cod to lend strength and support to small meetings there.

This trip brought back memories of the last time I visited Boston about eight years ago, when I weighed 30 pounds less than I do now. I can recall the pain of being at the food court in the Prudential Center and in Pioneer Square, trying to figure out what food to order. There were so many choices, and I wanted them all. Everything was about the food—what I would have, where I could get it, how much would I have, and what would do the “trick.” I needed the food to fill the god-sized hole I had in my being, and unfortunately the food could never fill that hole. It took me over an hour to make my dinner selection. This scenario was repeated meal after meal, place after place. Even though I was underweight at the time, my memories of Boston on that trip centered solely on the food. I remember exactly what I ate at the food court at the Science museum, and what I ate at a little café near Boston Harbor. I also remember walking up and down the terminal at Logan Airport, searching for the perfect dinner item to eat on the plane home.

This trip to Boston was different. It centered on being present for all the people who I was meeting in-person for the first time, including my sponsor. (It is funny how no one looks like what they sound like on the phone.) I could appreciate staying in the homes of long-term abstinent people. I got to see that is possible to live an abstinent life, a day at time, for years and years. I am happy to say that at dinner I wasn’t focused on what I was eating; I just soaked up the conversation and the atmosphere.

On Saturday I went to the Everett, MA meeting and got to meet so many people who I talk to on the phone. I ate lunch with fellowship and then drove an hour and a half down to the Cape with my sponsor for the Reachout. What a treat to have so much time one-on-one with her. We talked about everything from hard-core topics, to god, to what music we like to listen to.

I also had the opportunity to find out what chapters were doing and to meet more people who I had only “met” on the phone. I sang songs with my fellows, and even got into a hot tub (in our birthday suits) with my sponsor and six others!

At meals there was no discussion about food. Instead we talked about what people do to make their quiet time more effective and how people turn to god for help on a moment-by-moment basis to get through their day. My sponsor made one meal for me and apologized for the grain being overcooked—I didn’t notice.

I returned the next day to my home in Rochester, all filled up. The god-sized hole I had last time I visited Boston was filled this time with god and fellowship. I returned to my home with hope that an abstinent life is sustainable, with the knowledge that serenity is possible if I ask god for help throughout the day, and with a closer connection to my Boston fellowship. I also returned home with a photo of my sponsor and me—rudey-nudey in the hot tub!