Before Program I just wouldn’t open the mail it if it looked unpleasant. One time I got some mail that I think was saying that I was supposed to go to court. I’m not sure, because I just tossed it and then I binged and purged until my mind was blown. Months later, my disability payments got shut off. I had gotten a felony charge because I had not shown up to court.
Now when I go to answer the mail, I still get a leap of fear in my heart, probably because I’m still new at opening it. My sponsor in FA says that she checks her mail every day. Oh God! No way, I thought. But I can’t let fear rule my life anymore. It will send me back to the food. So I try to say a little prayer and go to gratitude.
So today I went to check the mail. I took a deep breath, asked God for help, and thanked Him in advance. In the mail was a notice that the state would pay $96 of my winter heating bill, and the most awesome thing ever—an anonymous gift certificate for $110 to buy a new pair of shoes. There was a simple note, “Heard you could use some shoes. Hope this helps. God is good.” Wow. I’ve been having foot problems, and this was totally amazing.
My negativity and fear were wrong again. And even if it had been a notice from a collection agency, my sponsor would help me every step of the way. I love that FA offers me a solution for food addiction and for every life problem. And since my sponsor says that Program is all about learning, I taped the anonymous letter to my fridge so that when God prompts, I have an example to follow of how to give wonderful anonymous gifts. God is good.