While I don’t wish away time anymore as I did in active addiction, I am grateful to have a lot of those “firsts after getting abstinent in FA” out of the way- that first Thanksgiving, first birthday, first family cookout, etc. While the majority of the difficulty arose from my concern with what other people thought of what I was or was not eating, as a newly abstinent person I did have to learn how to ask for what I needed for abstinent meals.

Before attending a friend’s wedding (my first in FA) I did my due diligence and called ahead. It was clear that the buffet was not going to work, so I told the manager what I needed and he said there would be a separate plate for me straight from the kitchen. I would just have to let the waitstaff know.  

As promised I received a separate plate. My husband went through the buffet line, but once he sat down with his own plate I noticed he was eyeing mine. Without saying a word, he reached his fork across me and into my vegetables!  I don’t know what exactly I said (or what my face looked like), but he immediately defended himself with, “No, no, no, your vegetables look just like mine and mine have a sweet glaze on them.”  He was not, in fact, attempting to sample or steal my food. He was right and, thankfully, had saved me from discovering the sweet glaze myself.

Most importantly, he had saved me from having to write a different ending to this story‒namely, one in which I would be sharing my “experience, strength, and hope” about how to find an inconspicuous way to spit out sugar-coated food in front of seven other people at a very elegant wedding. Thank you God and thank you hubby!